Oh look what you've done.

I woke late for a Saturday and still feel that body haven't sleep a wink when my mind is wide awake.
Last night was insane.
I was into depression and the only thing I havent done was slashing my wrists and mind you, much as I was sad I will never stood down low. Unless I lost my mind...

I really hate it when I cried cos' I couldnt let a sound out. Only slient wails and less tears but the heart hurts like someone punched it hard.
And the ironic thing is I dunno what it's for anyway.
I just know that I was overloaded and stress and noone is here. It's always like this....Everytime I cried like crazy and noone is here. Eventually I worn myself out and went to sleep.

Anyway it's over.
It's not too bad anyway. At least I still woke up lying on a bed and not some cold hard concrete. And I can never be down for too long. Bad for others and myself. There are always someone expecting me and why should I be down.
The world keeps spinning,baby. It cant be that bad everyday.

Bring you back to my yesterday.
It felt great roaming alone and busking in the town's sunshine.
I was sad still. By the time I reached the library, I was surprised noone hears the shattering sound that my heart made. I thought it was just me but it hurts so badly that I wanna cry there.
Let's skip the part why I was sad. No one would be interested to hear that.

I found 2 good books.(Or at least I would like to think they are.)
Found a table at Cafe Galilee.
Another interesting factor: I am particularly generous when I'm not happy.

Usually I would scan for the most afforable and least fattening but yummy drink and strictly no desserts.
But I ordered a Strawberry Tea Freeze and a small piece of Chocolate Truffle which costs $2.20.
Pretty expensive for a small cube but again you can't have it too big for chocolate truffle.
Settled back to my seat.
For a small cube of truffle, I seemed to take forever to finish it.
Staring into space and somehow badly wish someone would find me there so I wont be alone.
Even a beautiful stranger is most welcome to my table.
Sadly...non.

Was I there for around 2 hours before I finally cleared everything?
Where did I left my brain when I left the house without my jacket? I clearly remembered that I must grabbed my jacket along the day before I planned for the solitaire trip but it doesnt appeared in my bag when the trip began.
Darn. I left the freezing Taka and soaked myself in the hot hot sunlight outside.

It really,really feels good to walk along the streets of Orchard alone(In the day). First it gave you mind the chance to think,the time to enjoy, the opportunity to observe the people, the skies, the birds even. Everything I enjoyed so much or rather missed out so much when I worked.

I took photo for 2 gals from the States.
I only realised I talked exactly like I'm living in their land when they left.
What was I thinking about? But it's au'natural.
*Shrugs*
Wish I could enjoy Singapore like they do.
The thought of travelling crossed my mind again like the twentieth zillion times in my life.

Cont'd walked aimlessly which makes me feel good. But exactly the only stretch of road that's fun to walk starts from Taka and ends at Tanglin perhaps.
I didn't venture to Tanglin, made a turnabout at Devils'.

I stepped in Orchard tower and wondered if such building exists for nostalgia purposes?
Did they put that 'Jason's market place' signboard there?That tricked me to go in and I stepped out from this building called...Palais Rennaisanceor however it's spelt, and cant find it.

My last stop was at Far East Plaza with high hopes that retail therapy works on me.
I spent like $5 on something that's not worth its value at all and couldnt find anything else.
For some reasons, the shops inside FarEast seemed to be very warm. Did the aircon fail to work or izzit just me? I almost sweat there.

It was 6 plus in the evening when I decided to head home.
Bad timing cos' the traffic is so bad.
I saw 105 drive by and it's so crowded.
I prayed that byt he time I reached the busstop, the next one would be less packed and have plenty seats for me to choose.
If only each time I prayed for such lucky things come true, I wouldnt have to worry for anything else in my life.

Boarded the cooling bus and somehow didnt feel happy still.
I decided to go to the NTUC at Serangoon Central.
I told you that I would be generous.
I bought 1 Post Banana Nut Crunch, 1 Post Strawberry Cereal, 1 pack of ham, 1 pack of sausages, 2 Sobe reduced sugar Soya. Sums to $17 odd and I went home tugging the load.

I already mentioned how my night goes.

Oh, I woke up. As usual, I had my bath first den makan.
I thought I would finish that big bowl of cereal soaked in Soya cos' it's my fav.
But I gave my brother after a few mouthfuls.
Maybe I wasnt as hungry as I thought. Or maybe I shouldnt be that greedy to pour a big bowl afterall.
Hehz.

Ends you with one of my fav songs anytime.

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn’t be that man I adored
You don’t seem to know, don’t seem to care what your heart is for
But I don’t know him anymore
There’s nothing where he used to li
eMy conversation has run dry
That’s what’s going on, nothing’s fine
I’m torn
I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You’re a little late, I’m already torn
So I guess the fortune teller’s right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and nowI don’t care, I have no luck, I don’t miss it all that much
There’s just so many things that I can’t touch,
I’m torn
I’m all out of faith, this is how I feelI’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something rea
lI’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You’re a little late,
I’m already torn. torn.
There’s nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That’s what’s going on, nothings right, I’m torn
I’m all out of faith, this is how I feelI’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I’m ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You’re a little late,
I’m already torn

-Nathelie Imbruglia